How can i get this argument essay to at least a B?
i say the work smoking and smokers too much - but my english teacher said never to put they or them or it(to be really obvious)
How can i get this to a grade B???
also the conclusion is too long - i say things i meant to say earlier in the conclusion - but where should they be - they don't fit in my 3 main points????? please help
Thank you
Smoking should be banned in England completely!
Our Country can be an unpleasant and dirty place to live. No matter where you go, you always come across someone smoking and this is a dangerous, dirty and expensive habit, which has no positive effects. I will discuss why I strongly Think smoking should be banned in England, and these are my reasons for wanting this: Firstly smokers are ruining their own health, secondly it's bad for non-smokers health and thirdly, it is an expensive habit. These are my reasons for believing we should take action now!
The first problem with smoking is that it's damaging smokers health and taking away their lives. Smoking has so many negative effects including lung and heart disease, circulation and respiratory problems and asthma. Each year England has 364,000 patients admitted to NHS hospitals due to smoking related illnesses. One of the main health problems with smoking is cancer and Cancer Research claims that 114,000 people are dying each year due to smoking related diseases. Pregnant woman who smoke are also running a big risk of damaging their babies' health; the poisonous chemicals go into the baby's blood and this can result in a miscarriage, low birth weight or the baby being premature.
I get the impression that people who start smoking aren't't well educated or just don't care about their own health, which is a course for concern. However I know a person who has an asthmatic daughter and is well educated, but despite having a daughter who is more prone to health problems, she still chooses to smoke around her, which I think is appalling.
Secondly non-smokers are having to inhale other people's smoker just isn't right. Scientisits have proven that passive smoking is extremely dangerous to non- smokers as the smoker only inhales 15% of the smoke and all the rest gets inhaled by the people around them. Passive smoking can cause serious health problems especially for those with allergies, heart of lung disease and for children and babies. An example of how dangerous passive smoking is, is Roy castle, a non – smoker and entertainer who worked in bars and clubs for years and inhaled smoker through his work and was diagnosed with lung cancer and died as a result from it. Just the other day I was on my way to college and outside my local train station, there was a bunch of smokers there. I had no choice but to inhale the dirty smoke.
Ruining your own health is one thing but damaging non – smokers health is just unacceptable.
And the final problem with smoking is that it's expensive. The national health service is already in a terrible financial situation and they are having t give away thousands, not even knowing it will have any effect. The NHS spends on average £1m each day, £7m each week and between £1.4bn to £1.7bn each year on stop smoking services. And smokers on average are spending at least £1500 on cigarettes every year. Some smokers that have a low income sacrifice their daily essentials such as food to buy cigarettes and that is very sad to know that some people have to go to those extremes to carry on smoking.
I have come to the conclusion that smoking doesn't have any positive effects and is just making health matters worse. If we don't do anything about this now, more and more people will die from smoking and smoking will carry on forever which would be very disappointing. When smoking advertising began in 1911, smoking was looked at in a good way. Famous people were shown in films smoking which made smoking very popular. That was a total disaster and even today smoking can be looked at in a good way. Most young people get into smoking as a result of peer pressure and even if the young people know about the bad effects or smoking, they think they are invincible and that is a huge problem which needs to be tackled. Lots of people who smoke find it incredibly hard to quit because smoking is so addictive, however, with enough willpower it is possible to quit smoking. In July 2007 I was very pleased to find out about the smoking ban as more people quit smoking and enclosed public places became more pleasant to be in. However it still wasn't enough to make everyone quit which is why we should ban it in England completely. Before banning it completely though, we should an smoking in public completely as then smokers would have no choice but to smoker in their own homes and this is bound to make a huge rise in smokers choosing to quit.. Its not right at all that children have to be around people smoking at home because as well as it damaging their health, having smokers around them all
the time is bound to encourage them to smoke and is an on going problem. I think all Schools throughout England should have stop smoking services available as this would increase the number of young people choosing to quit dramatically. I also know that if stop smoking adverts were more emotional with children in, smokers would take quitting smoking much more seriously. The adverts should have ill children in as this is very emotional and smokers are bound to relies that they are responsible for any health risks in their family.
So I urge people to come forward and start an anti-smoking campaign – Together we can ban smoking in England!
Answer by whoasimixxx
you have alot of grammer corrections to do
the conclusion should be short and to the point.
in the conclusion, just state your thesis.
the rest, put them wehre you think they belong.
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